Tuesday, June 23, 2009

with no direction whatsoever

my last post was on September 30, 2008. i no longer tell people "i write nonsense occasionally.". even that is untrue. however, i have been using people as walking personal diaries - i realise, lately, given that i am being used in a like manner, how annoying that is. perhaps, from now on, the things going on in my head will get posted on the Internet since there is no other place they can go.
ours was not to reason why
ours was not to make reply....
businessmen they
may drink my wine
ploughmen they may dig my earth
no one can ever own my mind...
in "East of eden", there is a passage about how a soldier's intellect is killed and beaten out of him and i dont think my work is doing anything less to me. i work. i think in the manner required of me by my work. i do other things because i would like to convince myself that i do not do things only because of my work and my need to escape work.
a list of things i genuinely want to do:
1. dance.
2. get my waistline to a point i can live with.
3. write. even if it is nonsense like this undeserving, self- pitying post.
4. read.